Is Your Antivirus Male or Female?

antivirus-male-or-female-featureDid you know that the French assign a gender to everything, and I do mean everything, even inanimate objects? A house, for example, is female, “la maison“, while a book is male, “le livre“. It got me to wondering how the heck the French decide what gender a particular object is and how they might classify antivirus software. Yes, I know it’s a bit out there but that’s just the way my mind works.

I’m guessing some males, who are using a premium antivirus, such as Norton for example, might classify it as female simply because it’s talkative, asks a lot of questions, and is forever interrupting. However, my antivirus program is super quiet and doesn’t bother me with questions at all, so I needed to find some other source of inspiration.

When I considered the possibility of my antivirus being female, a clear image immediately popped into my head of this Amazonian woman with a silver shield in one hand, an 8 foot spear in the other, and a huge sword in scabbard dangling from the hip. You know, something along the lines of Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones. I have to admit, the mental image was strangely comforting.


On the other hand, when it came to considering a male counterpart, I didn’t get anywhere near the same reaction  – Mr. T, Jason Statham, Arnie, Superman, Batman, James Bond, etc. – none of them struck the same chord as my Amazonian knight. So, for me at least, I’m content to believe that my antivirus is definitely female. I just hope that if I happen to uninstall her, she doesn’t take the house with her. 🙂

Who was it said females are the “weaker sex” anyway? What utter nonsense – females are, in fact, man’s greatest weakness. My lovely wife, for example, allows me to be believe that I am in charge, which, when you think about it, is very considerate of her.

So, what gender do you think your antivirus program might be?


About the Author

Jim Hillier

Jim is the resident freeware aficionado at DCT. A computer veteran with 30+ years experience who first started writing about computers and tech back in the days when freeware was actually free. His first computer was a TRS-80 in the 1980s, he progressed through the Commodore series of computers before moving to PCs in the 1990s. Now retired (aka an old geezer), Jim retains his passion for all things tech and still enjoys building and repairing computers for a select clientele... as well as writing for DCT, of course.

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