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Tech Support For Couples

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance and Personal Attention, and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby, Football, Pub, and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate


Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: ‘http: I Thought You Loved Me.html’ and try to download Tears. Don’t forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewelry and Flowers, but remember — overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed, or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

5 thoughts on “Tech Support For Couples”

  1. Kathleen Dombrowski

    This is absolutely the the most entertaining and funniest thing I’ve read in quite some time. Can’t wait to see the reaction of my IT friends when I share this with them.

  2. Thanks for the trip down Memory Lane. Enthusiastic responses from presumably younger readers support my sense that I last saw this at least a dozen or more years ago. Which all goes to show that great humor is timeless and deserves a replay every now and then. Time to send it to my grown grandkids.

  3. Hi Jim
    Thanks for making me smile on a wet and windy Monday morning here in the UK.
    Seems to me there are few nuggets of truth in your very witty piece!
    Best regards.
    Kim

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