A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house… he got the outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two buddies are on a hunting trip together. They are walking through fields, up and down hills when one of them suddenly clasps at his chest and collapses, he doesn’t appear to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man is panic-stricken, he whips out his cell phone and rings the emergency number.
He breathlessly explains the situation to the operator saying he thinks his friend might be dead. When he’s finished the operator tells him, “OK, try to calm down sir. I can help. First, you need to make sure he is dead.”
There is complete silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the man says… “OK, now what?”
—
