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Senior sayings
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Mindblower
Montreal, Canada
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September 17, 2008
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May 6, 2022 - 12:40 pm
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A sardonic Senior might say:

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
I’m responsible for what I say, not what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.

It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.

As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: It will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

Me, sobbing: "I can't see you anymore. . . . I'm not going to let you hurt me again."
My Trainer: "It was one sit-up.”

As I’ve gotten older, people think I’ve become lazy. The truth is I’m just being more energy efficient.

I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.

If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.

Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round. . . and laughed and laughed and laughed.

I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.

I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.

Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.

Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time" isn't the correct response.

She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found mute by now.

So you’ve been eating hot dogs and McChickens all your life, but you won’t take the vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it. Are you kidding me?

Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.

There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.

"For the needy, not the greedy"

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Jim Hillier
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May 6, 2022 - 12:56 pm
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Haha. Fantastic MB. Some great lines in there. It's all very humorous because there's an element of truth in every one. Well done mate. Love it.

Could I please have your permission to post this list on the blog in an article? I just need to check for possible copyright infringement. Where did you get all this from MB?

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Richard Pedersen
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May 6, 2022 - 1:12 pm
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I really liked this. Great stuff MB! Many struck home.

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Mindblower
Montreal, Canada
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May 6, 2022 - 9:13 pm
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Okay by me Jim, but I received this from a friend via email, as many others I posted recently. Sometimes I am able to locate the point of origin by doing an Internet search, but not this time. The gave away being I do not include my name at the end, as I am just the sender, not the author, Mindblower!

"For the needy, not the greedy"

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Jim Hillier
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May 6, 2022 - 11:16 pm
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Okay, thanks MB. I'll search around online and see if I can find any references to this list. Don't want to infringe on any copyright.

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