I have a few jokes about unemployed people
…..but none of them work.

Will glass coffins be a success?
…..Remains to be seen.

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
…..One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite's kind of music?"
…..The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
…..There's no menu - you get what you deserve.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday,
…..but couldn't find any.

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?
…..A maybe.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
…..I lost my case.

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?
…..I don't know and don't really care.

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant,
…..but then I changed my mind.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought:
…..That's the last thing I need!"

Sleeping comes so naturally to me.
…..I could do it with my eyes closed.

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
…..A Thesaurus.

You're not completely useless,
…..you can always serve as a bad example.

I broke my finger last week.
…..On the other hand, I'm okay.

Don't spell PART backwards.
…..It's a trap.

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland?
…..Well, the flag is a big plus.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
…..He was lucky it was a soft drink.

To the mathematician who thought of the idea of zero.
…..Thanks for nothing!

Son: "Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
…..Dad: "No sun.