A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
"Blind man driving."

SIGN OVER A GYNECOLOGIST'S OFFICE:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

IN A PODIATRIST'S OFFICE:
"Time wounds all heels."

ON A SEPTIC TANK TRUCK:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

AT AN OPTOMETRIST'S OFFICE:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place."

ON A PLUMBER'S TRUCK:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

ON ANOTHER PLUMBER'S TRUCK:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

AT A TIRE SHOP IN MILWAUKEE:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

ON AN ELECTRICIAN'S TRUCK:
"Let us remove your shorts."

IN A NON-SMOKING AREA:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action."

ON A MATERNITY ROOM DOOR:
"Push. Push. Push."

AT A CAR DEALERSHIP:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

OUTSIDE A MUFFLER SHOP:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

IN A VETERINARIAN'S WAITING ROOM:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

AT THE ELECTRIC COMPANY:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't,
YOU will be de-lighted."

IN A RESTAURANT WINDOW:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

IN THE FRONT YARD OF A FUNERAL HOME:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

AT A PROPANE FILLING STATION:
"Thank Heaven for little grills."

IN A CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

SIGN ON THE BACK OF ANOTHER SEPTIC TANK TRUCK:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"