Tech Terms – Aussie Style!

Australia is a large country with a relatively small population which can essentially be divided into two distinct groups:

  1. The city dwellers – who tend to congregate around Australia’s lush coastal strip, and
  2. The “bushies” – who inhabit Australia’s vast and often isolated interior.

It’s not uncommon for bushies to travel 200 miles or more to visit the neighbors, attend a social gathering, or even just to get the groceries in. These people, who toil long hours in harsh conditions battling long periods of drought and sudden floods, are the heart and soul of Australia. The bushies rarely come in contact with modern technology so many of the terms which are second nature to the city dwellers often have a whole different meaning in the bush:

  • LOGON: Adding wood to make the barbecue hotter
  • LOG OFF: Taking off wood because the barbecue’s too hot.
  • MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbecue.
  • DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute (a pickup)
  • HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold cans of beer.
  • KEYBOARD: Where you hang the car keys.
  • WINDOWS: What you shut when the weather’s cold.
  • SCREEN: What you shut to keep the flies out.
  • BYTE: What mozzies and spiders do.
  • CHIP: A pub snack.
  • MICROCHIP: What’s left in the bag after you’ve eaten the chips.
  • MODEM: What you did to the lawns.
  • LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.
  • SOFTWARE: Plastic knives and forks you get with takeaways.
  • HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives and forks.
  • MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
  • MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.
  • WEB: What spiders make.
  • WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
  • SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won’t go.
  • CURSOR: What you say when the ute won’t go.
  • YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.
  • UPGRADE: A steep hill.
  • SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
  • MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
  • USER: The neighbor who keeps borrowing things.
  • NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
  • INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.
  • ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.
  • OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when a strong wind comes through.
  • TWEET: The noise made by the budgie.

3 thoughts on “Tech Terms – Aussie Style!”

  1. As a boy growing up in rural Arkansas I can relate to some of the word definitions. Great article Jim.

  2. Hi Jim,

    Some missing old mate,

    MEGABYTES, a mouthful of a Macca’s (McDonald’s Burger)
    MEGABITS, the tiny pieces of kids’ fries on the floor.
    SCAN when a bloke checks out a chick at the pub.
    COPY, a reply when a mate tells you a chick has her eyes on you.
    MONITOR follow the chicks movements.
    CAPTCHA had a date with the chick.
    FIREWALL the solid wall between townhouse units, (two-storey dwellings)
    FIRMWARE my trouser belt is in place.
    SYSTEM the toilet flush works.
    JAVA written In Indonesian.
    PORT a wine after dinner.
    HARD DRIVE a long distance from Adelaide to Perth
    REMOTE lost in the Aussie outback.

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