“Everything’s Fine!” And Other TV Quotes

“Don’t worry, everything’s going to be fine…“

This is probably the most used saying in disaster, spy, homicide, kidnapping, and apocalypse-genre TV shows and films. And of course, when you see our hero speak those words, you know there’s trouble ahead and everything is not going to be fine.

Take Jack Bauer of the TV series, 24 fame which we used to watch but eventually gave up on. His favourite quotes are famously clichéd, such as, “We’ll get through this,” and, “You’re going to have to trust me,” usually before disaster strikes. Clearly, these quotes are precursors to being captured, tortured, or otherwise compromised, and Whispering Kiefer delivers the lines as if he knows damn well that he’s not going to get through it.

“It doesn’t have to be like this.”

This is what the executioner says to William Wallace in Braveheart as he is about to be hung, drawn, and quartered in one of Hollywood’s most historically inaccurate films ever made, but that’s by the by. We all know that it has to be like this because Wallace will never betray his conscience and Edward I ‘Longshanks‘ really has ordered Wallace’s execution to set an example. How else could it possibly end? From a dramatic perspective and Mel Gibson’s real hatred of English oppression and also of his love of torture, we know that there can be no other way for Wallace. Not to mention the fact that anyone having their guts literally drawn from them whilst alive is hardly going to shout, “Freedom!”. A blood-curdling scream would have come from him, but hey, this is Hollywood, remember!

“No, Mr Bond. I expect you to die!”

With 007 strapped to a steel table and Goldfinger’s deadly laser beam inching closer to Bond’s nether regions, he asks, “You expect me to talk?” to which Goldfinger replies, with an evil cackle, “No Mr Bond. I expect you to die!” But our favourite spy refuses to die and he manages to talk his way out of jeopardy in the nick of time, to die another day. 007’s refusal to die is the theme that runs through all the Bond films, with most of the villains asking him, “Why are you not dead, Mr. Bond?” or as our hero miraculously infiltrates Scaramanga’s secret hideout, “Ah, Mr Bond. We’ve been expecting you!” and Drax’s famous line, “Look after Mr. Bond. See that some harm comes to him.”

“We’ve assured the Administrator that nothing will go wrong.”

Okay, this isn’t TV, but a quote from the opening scenes of the classic video game, Half-Life, where Gordon Freeman, our intrepid MIT-educated hero is about to step into the Test Chamber. Can anything possibly go wrong? Of course not, but it does, when a resonance cascade takes place, all hell breaks loose, and a portal is opened to an alien world.

“Wait here, I’m just going to scout around.”

Usually said by our hero when escaping from the villains, often in the company of a wounded love interest, and sometimes in an apocalyptic setting up in the hills or a deserted landscape. You know that as soon as those words leave his mouth, everything will go south – the wounded love interest/child/relative (replace context as required) decides not to stay put and is promptly captured by the villains, leaving our hero nonplussed as he utters the words to no one in particular, “I thought I told you to stay put!”

Evil cackle…

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